This is the fic I wrote for svmadelyn's Badfic Summary Ficathon, which was the most hilarious writing experience ever. To just sit down and spill out every cliche from every romantic novel, movie and fanfic you could think of, and mash them all together, and make the characters do completely absurd things? Amazing fun.

One of the things that gets trotted out when people discuss why we write fan fiction is fantasy fullfillment, that we write about things we want to see but will never get in canon.

I can say with all sincerity that I never want to see this.

Thanks to svmadelyn for organizing everything, and to Shalott for providing such wonderful inspiration.